Joy, Grit, and Grace in Music Lessons

As a music teacher, one of my goals is to partner with families in St Louis to guide students on a musical journey that is full of joy, grit, and grace. Perhaps those terms are unfamiliar in the context of music lessons, but they were thoughtfully selected. Let’s dive in!

Joy in Music Lessons

I often say “Music lessons are a lot different than when I was a kid!” 

When I started piano lessons three decades ago, I took from a traditional teacher. I learned technical exercises, scales, method books, and eventually repertoire. To make sure I practiced, every day mom put an egg timer on the top of the piano, set it for 30 minutes, and I practiced until it went off. Needless to say, I made progress, but it was more regimented than joyful. 

We might think that joy comes with a successful performance – the payoff from all the practice. But that kind of joy is fleeting since it depends on measuring up to expectations and fades away as the applause ends. 

True musical joy lies in discovery. The process of exploration is rewarding, engaging, and often a lot of fun. What might look like play (even for older students and teens) is actually part of an intentional process of musical discovery. Here are some examples:

• Conducting the music to experience the beat and express musical ideas

• Listening to recordings to build critical listening skills and engage with music away from our instruments

• Watching a short video clip connected to the piece we’re learning (for instance, learning about how flamingos live, fly, and flock changes how we hear a piece of music about flamingos)

• Dancing with scarves or simple instruments to express the music physically

• And even older students can benefit from crawling to the beat to internalize the beat through cross body motion (left hand and right knee, then left knee and right hand) 

It’s through activities like these that we build a connection with the music leading to joy both when we play for ourselves and share it with others in performance. Because it’s about more than simply playing the right notes at the right time. 

The early childhood classes I lead are called Imperfect Prelude: Journeying with Joy, Song, and Dance. The idea of joy connecting to song and dance is intuitive because young children so easily express themselves through movement. As children progress to instrumental study, the tagline changes to Journeying with Joy, Grit, and Grace. But the key is that the song and dance are still there. It’s just that the challenges of reading notation or the coordination required to play an instrument can disconnect us from the music. Through discovery, we find that the music still sings, but our instrument is the voice!  

Grit in Music Lessons

I once had a student whose mantra was “It’s impossible!” 

In response, I challenged him to think about what is truly impossible. After a pause, I suggested, “You can’t walk on the moon without a space suit.” 

He smirked and replied, “Well, actually, you can… for a few seconds.” But this started to reframe his thinking. It opened up the possibility that Jingle Bells was, in fact, not impossible! 

In addition to coaching his thinking, I gave him several specific practice strategies to choose from and connected with his mom so she could support him at home. 

With a little effort, he learned the piece! But the greatest joy in this story is that months later, when I had him play Jingle Bells again during a review lesson – he nailed it! It felt easy! It was a simple and beautiful way to celebrate with him just how far he’d come.

Some students naturally come to lessons with a growth mindset, knowing they can grow their abilities. Others come to lessons with a fixed mindset, believing life is a test to reveal their weaknesses. But everyone experiences challenges and setbacks that require perseverance – even the most talented students!

I love the book Grit by Angela Duckworth whose research on the psychology of success shows that both passion and perseverance are driving factors in success – but effort counts twice! Because skill is a product of talent and effort and achievement is a product of skill and effort. 

Worried you or your kid aren’t gritty enough? Duckworth beautifully shows that grit can be grown – through the development of interest, deliberate practice, finding purpose, and cultivating hope.

Because music is both challenging and rewarding, it gives us the opportunity to develop grit that we will carry with us throughout our lives.

Grace in Music Lessons

Grace has different connotations spiritually, musically, and personally, but in music lessons grace is the thread that keeps us together in difficult moments or challenging seasons. It gives us hope that who we are now is not who we are becoming. It gives us permission and freedom to try again.

With grace we can:

• See mistakes as an opportunity, rather than a reflection of our worth

• Change the lesson plan when the student didn't practice

• Try a new strategy when the first one (or ten!) didn't work

• Embrace our humanity and allow it to shape our music

• Play again after a disappointing performance

• Remove the pressure and leave freedom for the joy

• Transition from saying “I can't do it” to “I can't do it, yet!”

• And so much more!

In music and in life, grit and grace work together almost symbiotically. Grace keeps grit from turning into grinding – freeing us to return to discovery and find joy in music.

Joy, Grit, and Grace in the Studio 

Practically, this means that at Imperfect Music Studio, I work to create a safe learning environment – where students are nourished and challenged so they thrive musically and personally. 

In the next blog in the series, we’ll be exploring what growth looks like in music lessons so you can see joy, grit, and grace in action!

We’re moving to St. Louis in 2026 – serving families in Maplewood, Webster Groves, and the surrounding area. I hope you’ll join the journey!